Very Bad Things (Mirror Edition)

Review 1: Shredded Moose
Originally Written: August 16, 2007

Author's Note: I know that Brew, the creator, is on the road of trying to make Shredded Moose and it's main character more likeable (and I wish him luck on that even though he's got an lot of work ahead of him), I still wanted to start off with my first review peice. In case you're wondering, I wrote mine before Lillith Ester's (whose review I enjoyed). Now on to the review...

There are usually three good reasons why many gamer geek culture webcomics (AKA Penny Arcade clones) suck ass: 1) they’re an excuse for the author to do some self-insertion masturbation to satisfy is his own ego (like Crt + Alt + Del or MegaTokyo before it became some melodramatic harem anime wanna-be), 2) they’re just not funny (Half-Masked and Cartridge Comics), or 3) they are Shredded Moose, a comic so soulless that you can’t help, but to dislike the jerks who created it.

ShreddedMoose is that special kind of awful if you could imagine Penny Arcade being written by a violent, immature, misogynistic frat boy who thinks any woman who won’t fuck him on the first date is some kind of man-hating femnazi. Though I have to give it some kind of “credit” for going somewhat out of the usual PA clone template by having the straight guy being a young teen and there being no straight-laced, long-suffering gamer girlfriend. Then again if she did exist in this comic, she’d either be constantly naked and\or treated so horribly that Meg Griffin would pity her. Also, especially for a gamer comic, the art is pretty good.

SM also tries to tear into some new ground by combining gamer culture with a sex comic (like Sexy Losers or Ghastly’s Ghastly Comic) and failing miserably. It’s bad enough that the non-sexual humor is unfunny as it is with 75% of the non-sex jokes being about the main characters beating the shit out of people. Don’t get me wrong, sex and watching people get beat up can be funny but have more than that. Or at least vary the violence in some kind of way.

But what really makes this comic so wonderfully awful is the sheer hatefulness and misogyny toward anything with a vagina that seems to heavily seep through every panel. You see, in the world of SM, women are either Andrea Dworkin-level femnazis who literally resemble the Orcs from Warcraft, they're fodder to be abused, or they’re scantly-clad, ditsy/slutty sexpots who are ready get naked, molested, or being T&A for the creators to whack-off to. Hence, there is very little middle ground. Now before you start whining and screaming how I must be some overly-uptight stiff with no sense of humor, let me assure you that I’m a huge fan of Married with Children and the Leisure Suit Larry games. Then again, Al Lowe actually respected women and despite all his skirt-chasing, Larry Laffer (and his nephew) would never stoop to date-raping a woman and tossing her aside like a Kleenx when he was done with her. Besides, they were actually fun, likeable characters unlike the ones in this comic.

The crowning achievement is a strip where the stereotypical wacky-guy tells this one Orc-femnazi that women should respect men's sex drives. The strip would actually have a point if the wacky-guy wasn’t an unlikable, violent jerk who can’t talk to a woman without trying to molest her or get into her pants because he clearly can’t see them as anything other something to stick his dick into. You might as well have some televangelist scream about the sanctity of marriage while wiping a hooker’s cum off his mouth; it’d have the same effect.

Now the fun part will come if the creators ever get a hold of this rant and do a response comic where I’m portrayed as one of those Orc-femnazis complete with enough mouth-foaming fill a bathtub. To save the both of us some time, I will answer the most typical responses the crazy-guy character will probably have…

“But all guys act like me.”: It may come as a surprise to you, but a lot of men actually outgrew the immature, horny phase when they realized that the term “hair pie” is not as funny as it use to be. And no, they’re not all pussy-whipped losers who’d make Shinji of Evangelion look like Stone Cold Steve Austin. As hard as it is to believe, a lot of guys can tell the difference between a woman and blow-up doll.

“It’s satire you dumb bitch!”: Bullshit. From what I’ve seen, the creators have done nothing, but glamorize crazy-guy’s behavior and from what I remember doesn’t satire involve also showing the bad points as well?“

Doesn’t the first word in your online name mean, gay porn, you hypocrite?”: Now you’re getting off topic. What’s wrong with a feminist actually liking smut? (I even like some of the straight stuff.) Besides, there’s a long story behind that name that I’d probably bore you to death with.

My guess is that they’ll probably decide to screw the explanation and have a strip where I’m getting the shit beaten out of me.

Then again, maybe I’m being too hard. Maybe the creators are just a bunch of horny guys in their late teens/early twenties who still have a chance to grow up. Yet, I can’t shake this feeling at least one of them is over the age of 25 or worse, in his 30’s. In that case, I strongly plea to you guys get some help and soon.

Thankfully this comic is not that well-known and despite the free publicity I gave it, will stay the ignored, soulless mess it is. Thank you and good day.

Advertisement